Monday, July 25, 2011

Just Sex Please!


In my legendary sexual history I don’t recall having a friendship with a woman where sex was involved without some kind of commitment--- whether it was expected or promised. Every woman that I remember doing the locomotion with, we were either in a relationship or she believed that giving me her passion pit was going to magically convince me that her juice box was better than all of the other juice boxes I’ve had before hers, resulting in me committing to her for fear of losing that sweet funky stuff to another dude.

Honestly, back in the day when I was a strapping young bull with tight skin and boundless energy, I really didn’t give a shit about commitments; my belief was she wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t want to do it. I just wanted to get laid, fuck em and duck em, hit and run, stick it and quit it; I just had to release that liquid tension and get on with my life. And through persistent persuasion and Goldie like poetical pimp speak; I was able to convince those sweet young gherkins that I was all sincere and shit and deserved their holy treasure. But wait. They weren’t all sweet; some of them were sour and kosher dill, ok enough with the pickle comparisons.

Moving right along,

In today’s society, pop culture propaganda makes it appear that casual sex is the preferred practice in this generation. Thinking about it, maybe lots of people were unemotionally slanging P & D hard body back then and I just didn’t realize it because I was too busy trying to get laid to think about who other people were smashing. Truthfully, unless you’re a-sexual or physically and/or mentally incapable of doing the beef and broccoli, everybody likes a nice slab of sex sometimes (or all of the time depending on the individual). And if you can get it without all of the emotions, guilt trips and fake promises, it’s like winning the sexual sweepstakes (at least in my off-beat mind anyway), which brings me to the movie “Friends with Benefits.”

*Cue George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex”*

“Friends with Benefits” stars Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis(with her sexy ass) as two people fresh out of disappointing relationships that decide to become sex buddies without all of the emotional stuff that usually comes along with getting broke off proper like. This is a Hollywood movie so of course things change and feelings surface because if they didn’t you wouldn’t really have a movie.

I liked Friends with Benefits. I liked it much better than No Strings Attached a movie that had an identical storyline. No Strings Attached suffered because the two leads didn’t have any sexual chemistry in my opinion, I just couldn’t imagine Natalie Portman going for Ashton Kutcher in real life. “Friends with Benefits” doesn’t suffer in that area because Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis have great chemistry and are believable in the movie. There are some very funny moments and some very cheesy moments; it’s a rom-com without the romance if that makes any sense.

There are a few surprisingly emotional scenes as well; involving Justin Timberlake’s character’s father and Woody Harrelson is hilarious as Justin’s gay co-worker. I’ll even jump out the window and say he stole every scene he was in. “Friends with Benefits” wasn’t great but it was a good movie, the script was well written and pop culturish (yeah, I made that up.) and the cinematography was beautiful at times. While I was on my way to rescue my civic from the garage, I decided, I’m not mad that I paid money to see it. The plot was realistic and a lot of folks will relate to being in a convenient situation that suddenly becomes complicated because feeling got in the way.

What are your thoughts on casual sexual relationships? Have you ever been in a friend with benefits situation?


  1. I agree with you we as a generation are more prone to casual sex then any other generation. Hence the lack of wedding ceremonies.

    Not only are we having casual sex but its unprotected sex as well. But that's another story.

    I have been in a no strings attached/ friends with benefits relationship. At first that's all it was but of course some type of feelings evolved and expectation grew. So it was a messy situation that ended with my feelings hurt.

    I honestly can have sex without any agreement if that's all it is. No dinners, movies, shopping... if we are about sex let it be.. My situation got messy bc he was spoiling me and treating me like a gf but wouldn't give me the title.

    I think sex is 40 % physical and 60% mental. (if you like someone the sex can be amazing even if the dick isn't the largest greatest/ the cooch isn't the wettest) But if you don't care about someone the sex can be a hit or miss. I don't condone the no strings attached sex agreements but sometimes its needed. I wish people could get back to commitments and relationships.. stop trying to be so heartless.

    okay I'm rambling.. great post. I'll see the movie once its comes out on dvd (via redbox)

  2. I wanna see this movie. I like Mila Kunis ever since her role in Black Swan he he he (DJM)

  3. Funny how what we did back in the day did have a name, it was just one of those things. the point, nope, I'm not interested in a FWB situation for a few reasons. Mainly because I need something more fulfilling.

    At one time I had a motto of "I don't eff my friends", but that's challenged me a couple of times...instances that shouldn't have happened....such is life.

  4. Been there, done that, but i'm not in that anymore and although i say that at the onset of any relationship, men seem to forget. I have had love affairs with some of my bestfriends, that are still to this day my best friends. But no longer will i let them dip into the honeypot, relieve me of my gold, without depositing a wealthy sum of gold on their own. And Ditto what CG said.

  5. Yeah I've had my share of bang bang smack bangs but it got old u grow up n realize that the things you do really affect others..which is funny cuz i just wrote a post about this very topic...Doin U "At Whos Expense"

  6. Better late than never.

    Had my first FWB jig at 28. We both were in a relationship but our physical needs weren't being met. Hooked up a few times and that was that.

    2nd time was last year. Just got out of a relationship and it had been some months since I had that "feeling". Hooked up with a dude that was 28. Told me that wet pussy is wet pussy and at that very moment, my noni juices dried up like the Red Sea when Moses parted it. I jumped up, left and never called dude back.

    My need for intimacy is much greater now that I am over 30 and I'm not willing to compromise on that.

    Je t'aime

  7. @amber
    Thanks for stomping thru Amber. I appreciate your honesty. A lot of folks wouldn't admit to no strings attached sex for fear of being judged but we've all done that at some point in our lives.

  8. @CS&B
    That Black Swan sex scene was hot!

  9. @Curvy Girl
    I can dig wanting something more fulfilling. The choices you make say a lot about how you feel about yourself.

    For some reason I can't comment on your blog. I attempted to comment on your last post and blogger wouldn't allow me to.

    My comment is: An elder once told me that intuition is God talking to you and I honor that belief.

  10. @Miz

    Hey Miz! *waving crazy*

    Friendship is really important and sex can definitely change things.

    And your treasure should be sacred. I respect that.

  11. @25Champ
    What's up homey!

    I read it and I agree. We seem to live in a anti-value culture devoid of traditonalists. No lines and drawn and everything goes. Is this Anarchy? I can't call it.

    Thanks for chilling in my e-crib for a minute.

  12. @J

    Hey J! Long time no keystrokes.

    I feel you. The sexual lot of us have all had those moments when we just wanted some.

    Dude was foul for that I am glad you didn't call him back.

  13. I have never been in a friends with benefits situation (thankfully). For women, I dont believe that type of relationship is possible or healthy.

    Also, if I took a shot for every euphemism for the female anatomy you used in that first paragraph, I'd be good and drunk right now.

    Good to have you back!

  14. I have had the "Friends with Benefits" a few times in my life, usually between relationships...Only one was successful...Back in my club days, metting after was perfect...No strings...

    I did so again not too long ago...(I have to mention he is a neighbor, and still is) Before we both agreed "No Feelings" I was TOTALLY fine with that...It went on great for about a year and a half...UNTIL I got into a relationship...We discussed this prior and he was cool...UNTIL he saw me with dude...Next time we talked alone, he expressed that he caught feelings :( I sure didnt...and him living oh so close...Its a lil uncomfotable esp now that my man and I live together...

    I can SOOO easily seperate feelings from sex...Its just natural to me...

    But I got tired of wasting precious time...If its not real, it isnt even worth it to me...I'd rather save myself for the one that is...

  15. @K

    Thanks K!

    I wrote this pretty quickly so the euphemisms just came.

    Glad to be back.

  16. @JStar

    I guess friends with benefits situations need to be kept in perspective because someone is sure to be hurt if feeling prevail.


  17. Great post!Pickle references lol.
    There was a distinct period in my 20's when I decided that NSA relations were da bomb. I experimented and failed miserably in my attempts to bond with my animal side.

    Every relationship I've had with a person that I like evolves, usually on both sides. So I believe that there is really no such thing as NSA. More likely true for admittedly. Emotions are unpredictable. VERY unpredicatble lol.

    Must check out movie :)


  18. Left out a key word - Most likely true for women - sorry lol.