Thursday, August 04, 2011

Can You Get Open?


Recently, singer/poet/actress Jill Scott created a firestorm on the social networking site twitter when she tweeted “What do you think about open relationships? Been considering” The tweet was met with both support and ridicule by her followers who replied using scripture, statistics, home spun wisdom and sister girl anecdotes. Even celebrities such as Chilli of TLC responded tweeting “Hell naw to open relationships.” and actor Brian White who tweeted “A woman doesn’t consider open relationships unless she has been hurt, isn’t getting what she needs or is being spiteful.”

In my over three decades of living I’ve never witnessed so many people considering or engaging in so-called open relationships, to each his own but I can’t make any logic out of a committed non-monogamous relationship. The benefits are obvious. But what about the costs?

Why not just stay single and smash whenever you want and whoever you choose?
Is it sexual liberation or an act of desperation? Are monogamy and commitment things of the past?

Sound off ladies and gentlemen!


  1. Jason, I am sooo with you here! Whats the point of a relationship/marriage if you want to be intimate with another outside the relationship or even involved in the relationship for that matter...To me, I just dont get it...Why commit? It kinda defeats the purpose to me...And plus I am greedy, I dont like to share...and if I am ever in that position than, she can have him...I want my OWN....

  2. Folks can do what they want but dont try to disguise it as a relationship. If you are screwing all willy nilly like with or without your spouses permission, then you may as well have stayed single. Commitment is COMMITMENT. Look it up in the dictionary. If you dont wanna do that then stay single.

  3. I think marriage is whatever the two people married define it as. If you want to get married and live in separate houses, whatever works for you. If you want to get married and have sex with other people, if both married parties agree to those terms, more power to them. If things end up not working out in the end, that's the risk they took. With half of all marriages ending in divorce, who is to say traditional marriage is the best way for a couple to succeed. But would I be in an open marriage, hell no! LOL.

  4. Im with Chili.. HELL NAW. I also agree with Brian White. I also feel the same as you, why even bother with commitment if thats not what you really want...people are so stingy though!

  5. @JStar
    I'm with you Jen, there's too much going out here to be sexing freely with every tom, dick and jerome.

  6. @Nicole
    I feel you. To each his own but I just don't get it.

  7. @Cha Cha
    Were living in a me first society these days and some folks have no regard for other people's feelings.

  8. I could never allow myself to enter into such an things. It is basically setting yourself up in my opinion.

  9. @Sunny
    I agree. There are too mnay unnecessary complications that could arise from the situation.

  10. Marriage truly seems to be a outdated institution. Why would a rational person take a gamble on something that has a 50% failure rate? Most of us who jump the broom are in love and rational comes with the cooling of passion and a host of other complications.

    We should face the fact that more relationships fail because in the 21st century commitment is a dirty word. We hop jobs, we hop beds, we change lovers and when the going gets tough many of us bail.

    I would never consent to an open marriage as I believe it is a contradiction in terms.

    However, I know quite a few people who have successful open relationships. If they can navigate the pitfalls of jealousy and posessiveness it is actually truer to our baser instincts, in my humble opinion. We are really just higher functioning animals after all. I'm just sayin...

    It's not for me cause I am a die hard romantic lol but I can certainly understand why some would give it a try and not just those with ho-ish tendencies or the heartbroken.



  11. @Coco
    What you wrote here is true Coco. I wouldn't consent to an open relationship but to each his own.