Tuesday, December 06, 2011

In The Maw of Judgement

"Somebody needs to pay, for all my children and my mine and Gary's, all our suffering... somebody needs to be held accountable, and they needs to pay!"

The lady featured in this video is named Angel Adams. She has 15 children by three different men. The quote above is Angel’s frustrating cry for help. She was removed from her two bedroom apartment, to a hotel room and is now staying in a living space provided by the city with twelve of her children.

What caught my attention was that Angel blamed everybody for her circumstances except herself. She came off ungrateful, belligerent and dare I say ignorant. She eventually ended up in court and was found in contempt because she refused to answer the judge’s question about if she was pregnant again or not.

She has since received donations and assistance from caring community members, but it’s still not enough. Having twelve kids is a really large load and of course, this woman’s story has created a firestorm of activity on some of your favorite websites. The reactions on comment threads range from disgust to anger to pity.

I for one am ambivalent. Having grown up around women in similar circumstances, my emotions are a mixture of anger and disbelief. Sadly, there are women like Angel in any ghetto U.S.A. And as ridiculous as their choices seem to us, there are children that still need to be clothed and fed. I feel that this is a classic case of immaturity meeting irresponsibility and driving off of a cliff.

What are your thoughts about women that continue to have children and can’t afford them? There are many reasons why(Psychological, emotional), but what kind of solution based programs would you create that may curb the problem?


  1. I don't think there is a program one can create for women such as Angel.

    As a mother, she should know what she can handle. She doesn't realize that her action (continually having kids) is causing her other children issues as well.

    How many kids does she have to have to realize that she can't financially afford all of them.

    She doesn't use any form or birth control? I'm not saying she has to have abortion but damn? Do you really wanna live your life on a system that is setup to watch you fail.

    said the mother of one... I know I'm not ready to have another at this point in time!

  2. It's something to see the news feature Angel Adams and even hold one of her children in the process, as if it really cares about the woman or the children. In the end, it's simply a news story and that's ALL it is.

    That said, there is nothing that can be done for an "ignorant" mother of 15 kids except send the children to foster homes, if you ask me.

    The fact that Adams went over 10 months without seeing her kids, pretty much says it all. I wonder what would possess any woman to give birth to all those kids?

    Anyway, it's income tax time and I'm sure she can sell the social security numbers for added assistance.

  3. I feel most for the children, because they weren't asked to be here, and yet because of their mothers total disregard to "what is right", they will bear the brunt of society and suffering. WE can't ignore them! We have to still be that village, even when it's in circumstances like the above, but i just wish woman and the men they deal with would think, and consider the outcomes. Laying up is costly, if not financial, certainly emotional and mental. Being selfish won't solve anything and soon those govt checks are gonna run out...as well as the giving...Missy needs to get off her azz and do something about it! My peace!

    btw - I knew after my second child i wouldn't have anymore, mainly because i wanted to provide for them, give them my best and even with a great job, a husband an all, i still struggled!

  4. I'm trying to find it in my heart to have a little pity but there is none. At least, not for Angela. Her children yes. I despise people who proliferate the earth with their offspring and yet lack the means to take care of them. Any excuse they make is well inexcusable.

    Her plight and those like her speaks to many societal ills, irresponsibility, lack of accountability and a get over on the system attitude. It's a pity that they exploit a system meant for others sincerely in need, through little fault of their own.

    As to a program that would address this problem, I confess my mind goes blank. It's a mental issue. Some would say it's a cultural issue but I think that's overstating the case. I also think that the media conveniently trots these "cases" out in front of us at key moments. Do you think it's an accident that Newt is raving about poor people having no work ethics, a welfare woman with a $12 million dollar home and stories like these are beginning to pop up?

  5. I DIDN'T watch the video becuz I'm TOO Damn Familiar with the Subject-matter and It's BEYOND Disgusting considering The RESOURCES that have been available to PREVENT THIS MADNESS...

    LACK of REAL Education, Sexual-RESTRAINT and F-ing COMMON SENSE is at the HEART of THIS FOOLISH PRACTICE of HERS and So Many OTHERS LIKE HER (Real)

    And there is a Program for this IF AVOIDING THIS PROBLEM is what The REAL RESOLUTION IS... It's called LEGAL TUBAL STERILIZATION (WORD)

  6. This is a tough one. Firstly, this plays into a lot of stereotypes about Black women. The truth however is that there are White women out there with more children than they can afford.

    As for fixing the problem; each situation is different. Women have children for lots of different reasons. Many times it's to fill a void.

    So the answer really is to look at each situation and treat women like her as individuals.

    I feel bad for her because I know that her having 15 children is probably an unanswered cry for help.

    And in this society in which we live it's unlikely that she will get the compassion that she needs. As evidenced by a judge citing her for contempt rather than encouraging her to seek counselling.

    Interesting post, Jason.

  7. This situation definitely opens a pandoras box. I feel pity for the children, some kind of pity..though not quite the same for the mother and a general apathy knowing no matter what is done to help her that she will continue to live her life a certain way as will many hundreds like her. It's a mentality, not sure where it comes from. As a survivor of an abusive and altogether sad childhood it annoys me no end when people blame their past or any other misfortune at hand for their situation. Of course we are moulded by the past to a degree but all of us live in a world where we have access to a better future. Interesting to read all the comments above especially the one that mentions stereotypical of black women.. well can i just say as a white Australian I can tell you that this unfortunate situation is not limited to colour, people need to open their eyes. I would help this woman if she lived in my street, of course.. but then.. what of the puppy without a home? what of the alcoholic without clothes? What of all the starving children? Answer is... we can not save the world.Especially those who make no efforts to help themselves.
    Great thought provoking post Jason, and thank you as well for the lovely comment you left on my page.
    Peace ^!^

  8. I want to slap her face, I really do.

    I would curb the problem by tying her tubes. Some folks should be deemed incapable of making healthy rational decisions. Then a team of health care professionals and legal representatives should decide and explain what will happen.

    Yes these kids need to be fed and clothed, they are already here, but enough is enough. Everybody has their own kids to care for. If she had one or two, hell even five, but FIFTEEN?! No pity found here.

    Her tubes needed to be tied yesterday.

  9. It is extremely telling, and very interesting the responses that we have here. The people have no pity for this black woman. And thats the way we are socialized.

    We see her as unredeemable, worthless, unable to change, yet she sounds articulate to me. Obviously she has made a mistake in this country, to be a prideful woman with the wrong attitude. For that she deserves to be harmed either physically or emotionally and have her kids taken away. It's her fault for having so many children.

    Its easy to blame her rather than embrace and teach her. We say, let a hoe be a hoe all the time, dont we? We have no patience, or love.

    What she needs is a circle of elder mothers around her to hug the anger and false pride out of her. Who would dare take the time to do that for an unmothered black woman?

    The uncomfortable truth is she makes us ashamed of our black selves. Im ashamed that we have no infrastructure to snatch this sister up and heal her broken heart. Maybe we can call Dr. Phil.

  10. @ Anna, reading through the comments I do sense people have empathy however frustration at not one not five not ten but FIFTEEN children? Even my compassion (and I consider myself an empathetic soul) begins to wane..
    I am unsure of the "infrastructure" you speak of in your country however here, we have social security / single parent benefit and believe me with 15 children she would have plenty of assistance both financially and otherwise if needed.
    I do agree with your comment re "elder mothers" .. our culture and time really has caused to disconnect the circle of both family and the ancient practises of women and I think this will get worse with future generations. How to save the world though? as I said above.
    One thing that really does interest me though is the constant referal to her as "a black woman". Perhaps again, this is because I am not in the same country as others who have commented so misunderstand however I in no way see this situation having any relevance to skin colour. Show me 5 black women who need saving I will show you 5 white.. surely we have progressed beyond judgement/treatment by colour.. or not ?

  11. I think she is ungrateful. Yes, she needs help, and she should get it. But, her attitude is horrendous.